Basic Vietnamese Eating Etiquette To Avoid Awkward Moments

Basic Vietnamese eating etiquette explained, from chopstick rules, table manners, to cultural customs every traveler should know to avoid awkward moments.

Going to Vietnam, you’ve got the appetite. You’ve got Google Maps pinned with all the street food stalls. But do you know what to do when you're sharing a meal with locals and someone offers you a shot of rice wine? To help travelers avoid awkward moments, knowing a few dining customs: chopstick etiquette, family-style sharing, and all the little dining dos and don’ts, will go a long way. Surely, Vietnam’s table manners are simple once you’ve read this guide. 

Basic Vietnamese Eating Customs You Should Know

Source: Tiem Com Bam Thu

Before diving into the essential Vietnamese eating etiquette, here is what you should learn about the locals’ meal customs and table setting:

Meal customs are deeply tied to Vietnam’s way of life. They reflect honors for family, community, and tradition: Waiting for elders to start eating first shows respect for age and experience, shared dishes foster a sense of community, and not sticking chopsticks upright in a bowl honors long-standing cultural beliefs. By following these customs, you’re participating in a tradition that values family hierarchy, togetherness, and the harmony of shared meals.

Dishes are shared. Instead of everyone having their own plate, people pick food from the communal dishes and eat from their own bowls. Sharing extends to the little dipping dishes, too; everyone can scoop from the same bowl of fish sauce. That said, this usually happens at family meals. For Western guests, it’s totally understandable if you ask for a separate dipping bowl.

Vietnamese meals are all about balance. A typical table offers a colorful mix of dishes: fresh vegetables, flavorful meats, and fish, paired with rice, noodles, or other starchy staples. Each dish complements the others, creating a harmonious blend of flavors and textures. Unlike other countries where starters, mains, and desserts are served separately, all Vietnamese dishes usually arrive on the table at once. But no need to feel overwhelmed, the key is to taste a little of everything throughout the meal and enjoy it to the fullest.

Chopsticks are used for every dish, except soup (cháo). Don’t be surprised if they don’t have forks and knives to offer. Vietnamese people always prefer their chopsticks. In some cases, it’s also perfectly acceptable to use your hands, like with bony food (boiled chicken, roasted duck) or summer spring rolls (fried spring rolls, however, are used with chopsticks). 

Once you’ve got the hang of these customs, trust me, you’ll survive culture shock in Vietnam. Now, let’s move on to the next part.

Basic Vietnamese Eating Etiquette You Should Know

As mentioned, meal customs are deeply tied to the way of life of Vietnam, where traditions are strong. To avoid any awkward moments, like fumbling with chopsticks or coming across as rude for what you consider as usual eating habits, here’s a handy guide of things to watch out for. 

1. Before meal

Source: Tiem Com Bam Thu, Freepik

Wipe the table, arrange bowls and chopsticks. Before starting, make sure each person’s chopsticks are properly aligned and even. Bowls should be arranged neatly, too. More than tidiness, this ritual is about respect, ensuring everyone can enjoy their meal comfortably.

Wait for everyone, especially the elderly, before heading for the food. Don’t be the first one to dive in! In Vietnam, meals are about sharing and togetherness, so it’s polite to wait until everyone is seated and the eldest has their first bite.  

Invite everyone to eat. Traditionally, the invitation to start eating goes from the eldest to the youngest, with different forms of address depending on age and relationship. But for foreigners, they’ll usually cut you some slack. A cheerful “Mời mọi người ăn cơm” (can be understood as “Dig in, friends!”) is enough to show you’re part of the table fun. Bonus points if you say it with a smile.  

2. During meal

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Chatter is welcome. Unlike some places where meals are quiet, in Vietnam, the table is alive with talk and laughter. Stories, jokes, and endless questions fly around just like the passing dishes. Don’t be surprised if you feel like you’re in the spotlight. It’s simply how they make you part of the gathering. 

Handle chopsticks with care. Don’t stick them upright in your rice bowl (that’s reserved for offerings to the dead), and definitely don’t wave them around or point at someone (imagine someone wagging a fork at you, it feels just as rude!). Instead, hold them tightly and rest them neatly across the top of your bowl, lying flat when you need a break from eating.

Hold the bowl close to your mouth. Trust me on this one, but it’s practical in your battle of using chopsticks to pick up grains. By keeping the bowl close to your mouth, you’ll keep the table neat, prevent spills, and make the whole experience more relaxed. 

Don’t go digging for treasure. When a big plate of food is placed in the middle, resist the urge to shovel through it like you’re hunting for the best bite. It’s considered impolite to dig around and keep all the best pieces yourself.

Source: Tiem Com Bam Thu, Unsplash

Accept drinks, if possible. Drinking in Vietnam is a very social affair. If someone offers you a shot of rice wine, accepting it is showing respect to them. The problem is, it can be much stronger than your average beer back home. If you’re not up for it, just smile and politely decline. But if you join in, expect someone to cheerfully top up your glass again and again, and the endless chant of “1,2,3 dzô”.

Prepare for (lots of) food offers. Just like drinks, food often comes with an extra dose of hospitality. Locals may pick food and place it right into your bowl, or some might even hand you the whole plate. It’s their way of saying, “We like you, eat more!”. Savoring the food is a sign of respect, but in case you’re not ready to try bizarre Vietnamese dishes or are truly full, simply place your hand over your bowl and say “Thank you”. 

3. After meal

Source: Unsplash, Savvy Tokyo

Leave no food in your bowl. Finishing everything is the ultimate compliment to the cook, while leaving a bit means “I didn’t like it.” So, better to go for smaller portions and savor them all.

Use toothpicks. Yes, toothpicking with a piece of bamboo right at the table is acceptable in Vietnam. But always remember to cover your mouth with your hands while doing so. 

Don’t rush off. The meal doesn’t end when the last bite is gone, it ends when the laughter does. So stick around, take a bite of the local dessert, trade stories, and enjoy being part of the vibe. Trust me, nobody’s in a hurry when it comes to a Vietnamese meal gathering. 

Offer to help with cleaning up. Want to win extra points? Offer a hand! You can join in cleaning dishes, stacking bowls, or throwing away trash. It doesn’t matter what you do, but your effort and willingness to help count.

Final thought

And there you have it, your crash course in dining the Vietnamese way. Keep these basic eating etiquette in your back pocket, and you’ll not only avoid those “oops” moments but also earn some smiles from the locals. Now go ahead, get a bite of Vietnam’s amazing cuisine, and start making some friends along the way. Who knows, they might even let you in on their traditional dish recipes.